The Only Detox You Will Ever Need

Happy Monday Everybody - This morning I woke up, made a tall glass of iced chai tea (since here in AZ we are still in the 80s and 90s), did some morning yoga and claimed my affirmation to start the day. My affirmation this morning was “I trust that the Universe will remove anything and anyone that is not for my highest good”.

Lately, I’ve done some major soul searching and as you can tell from all of our #HeyEmmaJayeMonday Motivational Messages I am ALL about transformation and the journey to the best possible version of yourself. And what I’ve learned VERY recently is that it is time to start detoxing. And when I say that I’m not talking about celery juice. Your diet is not only what you eat. It is how you spend your energy, what you read, what you watch, what you listen to, what you partake in, who you “follow” on social media and in your life and who you surround yourself with. It’s time to start being more mindful of the things that you are “putting” in to your body. Whether that is physical, emotional, or spiritual. When it comes to the energy in your life, it is not something that should be taken lightly. The places, the partners, the conversations, the behaviors and the people in your life become a part of who you are as a person. We don’t always choose these wisely, or understand the seriousness of what we invite into our life on a daily basis. I will be the first to come forward and say that I have done this countless times, and I know that I will probably do it again. But I’ve learned now that I am going into every new chapter of my life with experience and with enough strength to take action when needed.

The biggest eye-opener for me this past week is that people are like art…they will eventually show you their true colors. Once you have invited someone into your life, there comes a time when you will realize where you stand in theirs. You find out whether they are with you, against you, or if they stand on that middle ground, because they can obtain something from being in your life. And as humans, we obsess over this. We are constantly worried about where someone stands with us, but it’s time to stop putting so much energy into trying to figure it out - and start putting your positive energy into the world and seeing who reciprocates it. Because eventually the Universe will show it to you. For example, look at the people that you surround yourself with on a weekly basis. If you don’t get inspired by just thinking of them - babe, you don’t have an inner circle. You have a cage. It’s time to start associating yourself with people that inspire you. People that help to make you a better person, not people that thrive on getting to the top no matter how many people they need to step on to get there. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to rise higher than where you’re at and clap for you when you reach your goal. These people will add growth to your life, instead of trying to stunt it. Remember that your journey, your destiny, your goals and YOUR LIFE IS WAY TOO IMPORTANT TO JEOPARDIZE for the sake of others.

And I know that this can be hard sometimes. Because we seek approval, we seek happiness, we seek companionship… and life gets tough and lonely. And sometimes to fill the void, we fill it with temporary people, feelings and things that make us feel good for the moment. But these things are fleeting, and in doing so - so are your aspirations. Don’t trade your authenticity for approval. It’s not worth it, because once you lose yourself in what you surround yourself in - it takes THAT much longer to get back on the journey to YOU. It’s all about respecting yourself and prioritizing peace in your life. If you are sitting a table with others and respect is not being served, it’s time to pay the check and leave. If people in your life are hurting you more than loving you, draining you more than replenishing you, and bringing you more stress than peace. It’s time to end that relationship. When the people you sit with make you feel small, or like your soul is replaceable - it’s time to let them go. And most importantly…. if you can not feel 100% confident that when you get up from that table that words aren’t being served in your direction - it’s definitely time to go. How people talk about others to you, is how they are going to talk to others about you. I have made the decision to no longer sit at tables where I might be the topic of conversation when I get up. To surround myself with people who talk about goals, visions, dreams, ideas and accomplishments, instead of other people. Remember, that people who are talking behind your back are placing themselves exactly where they need to be…behind you. People who talk poorly of others, often have way more to hide about themselves. So, make a habit of shutting down conversations that involve hating on other people. And transform your conversations into something positive. Sometimes leading by example is all that it takes. Teach these people in your life that it is better to make it to the “top” for YOU to see how far you’ve climbed, not so everyone else can see you. And if things don’t change, if their energies no longer align with yours - it is OKAY to walk away. If you are spending time with people who cause you to engage in negative behavior, or a behavior that no longer serves you - it is time to find a new environment. And that is OKAY!

Peace is priority - REFUSE TO BE APOLOGETIC ABOUT THAT. There are too many negative connotations on the words selfish and self-centered. There comes a point in your life, where YOU need to be your number one priority. Being self-centered doesn’t always have to mean being arrogant. You can love yourself and always do what is best for YOU and still be an amazing person to everyone else. Stay away from the people who will gaslight you - or manipulate you into thinking that when you express how you feel about your life, or something that you strongly believe in - that you are being argumentative or wrong. These people do this, so that they don’t have to take accountability for their own actions and behavior. Whatever you do in life will be perceived differently from different people - that is not something that you can control. You can never control how a person receives your energy. Your energy gets filtered through theirs before it truly reaches them - which means it can get misinterpreted based on things they are going through, through their own perception of themselves, or just turn into blatant negative energy that they are full of. How they perceive you, is not always about you. Which is why instead of focusing on perceptions of you, you need to focus on living your life with as much integrity and love as possible. Be YOU. And have the courage to be disliked. Because can you imagine what it must feel like to watch the person you dislike thrive without your negative opinion? Don’t let anyone, or anything make you cruel - no matter how cruel they are. It’s not worth losing yourself in the process.

As I have talked about before, this chapter of your life is titled “Transformation” and it requires you to be a little less accessible. What I mean by this is that you need to be cautious about who has full access to you - because you are still figuring out exactly who and where you want to be. Not everyone needs access to you, what you’re doing and what your plans are. This isn’t out of arrogance or secrecy, but out of the need to protect your energy, your vibes, your plans and your space. As you do all of the groundwork to elevate yourself, you need to let in only those who truly wish to elevate you as well. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE PICKY - with your own time, space and energy. Your time and energy is precious, and you get to choose with you spend it, how you spend it, when you spend it, why and you want to use it. That is up to no one, but YOU.

So, let the cleansing begin. Just as you may use Sage or Palo Verde to cleanse a room of negative energy, start to cleanse your life of negative energy. Just as you take a detox cleanse to cleanse your body of the toxins, start to detox the toxic people out of your life. But in that process, don’t become an ugly person. Cleansing people from your life does NOT mean that you hate them, or that you do not wish them well. It simply means that you respect yourself and love yourself enough to surround yourself with only people who respect and love you. Some people are toxic and draining and don’t even realize it. In this case, you can always give them the chance for change. The best way to do this is to set healthy boundaries. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and will not accept. You have every right to stand up for what you believe in and how you feel - this doesn’t make you mean. You have every right to put yourself first and let people know in a healthy way - this doesn’t make you egotistical. For example, you may have a person in your life who you really like spending time with, but no longer wish to partake in what they like to do. Let’s say, you no longer want to make partying/drinking a priority and instead would like to focus on activities that give you something MORE - like a gallery, movie, museum, class, fitness activity…etc. Be open and honest with them. Set the boundary by saying that you would love to spend time with them, but would like to see if they want to do more than just what you’re used to doing. Doing this sets a boundary, leaves opportunity to change the direction of a friendship and opens your eyes to who supports your lifestyle change and who doesn’t. You are under no obligation to remain in someone’s life, who doesn’t align with who you want to be and where you want to go. You are allowed to say no, if it is something you don’t want to do. If you don’t feel refreshed, inspired and happy when you end a conversation with someone - it is time to either change the direction of the conversation, or stop picking up the phone. You are allowed to no longer answer calls that make you feel bad, or break plans with people who don’t make you feel like the amazing person that you are. Most importantly, whenever I am having issues detoxing, or detaching myself from someone or something I remind myself that I am doing it because I choose ME over anything or anyone else. I remind myself that the person, situation, or thing has already served a purpose in my life, but they are no longer in alignment with my journey moving forward. I send them love and light - and go about my life in a positive and happy way.

Today as I leave you with all of the ingredients to create the perfect detox - PLEASE never doubt your value, because of someone else’s opinions, perceptions, or words about you. Don’t let these people make you feel worthless, because YOU ARE PRICELESS. And when you begin to recognize that and resonate with it, the Universe will align you with people who will show you love, light and support every day of your life. Even if it just starts with me - being your support system, your Monday light and motivation, and being on your side. So, as you go about this week and into the next month - believe that YOU are strong enough to know that you deserve better. Not only better, but the BEST.

Photo Taken by: Jami Lyn of Jamilyn Photography and Bombshell Boudwah